Wednesday, 17 of September of 2014

Tag » breastfeeding

My Mommy Side

I mostly post here about my adult baby or adult little girl exploits, because I mostly date dominant men and women who are not interested in experiencing that side of me, but it is there, and only getting stronger.

I’m a versatile player, but there are a few things that I need in my play, no matter what:

A Taboo Nature I like stuff that feels socially unacceptable. Usually, these things don’t actually hurt anyone, but I also have fantasies that are extremely violent in nature. Now, I realize that I don’t actually want those things to happen, but I do enjoy playing with them during sex, even if only verbally.

Dominance and Submission Sex is a power dynamic to me. I realize that this is a patriarchal definition of sex, but I like it. It gets me off. Of course, the male need not be the one in power, and there need not be a male involved at all. However, I like one party to have the upper hand. I enjoy physical as well as social dominance play.

Simulation of Mixed Feelings When I was younger, sex made me feel guilty and excited at the same time. That pull in opposite directions created more tension, made me more excited when I finally went twang. Of course I don’t feel guilty about my sexuality anymore, but I like to play around with that feeling as much as possible.

An Overwhelming Desire Part of while I enjoy the guilt and taboo is that giving into desire even despite those feelings and conventions seems to me to be evidence of overwhelming desire and passion. I like to think that I’m so horny I don’t care if the object of my desire is my brother, my student, my pet, etc. It leads to incredible role play scenarios.

All of this is fulfilled by my Mommy-son, Mommy-sissy, or Mommy-daughter play. I used to engage in this type of play with my ex-husband on occasion and Manny and I used to do it sometimes during cyber sex, but never in person. Most of my Mommy experiences have been professional and I would like to change that. For example, I now refuse to date people unless the have an interest in nursing. There’s nothing more intimate or kinky to me that having my breasts milked or feeling my lover drink my milk directly from my breast. (This is not something that I offer in my professional play specifically because it is so intimate, though I really, really wish that would shoot a lactation scene with me!)

I get nearly a 50/50 mix of play on webcam and mostly do Mommy play in my live sessions, so I am happy, but I really miss adult nursing. Cross your fingers for me to get more Mommy time in my personal life!


Adult Baby Therapy

Sitting in the waiting room of the therapist’s office was a young girl, no more than twenty-one or twenty-two, flipping through a well-used fashion magazine. She was casually dangling her flip flops so that every now and then they’d fall to the floor and she’d have to pick them up, giving the girl sitting across from her a teasing glimpse of her white, eyelet lace bra. Finally the door to the office creaked open and the therapist, Dr. Barber, showed out her previous patient, a stylish man in his early thirties in a business suit. He smiled at both the girls and jauntily stepped out the front door.


The girl with the flip flops dropped her magazine back into the pile and bounced up. As she walked past the therapist into the door two mildly strange things happened that she didn’t notice. First, the therapist inhaled deeply, sucking in the aroma of the girl’s clean, brown hair. Second, she gave the other girl, a slender fairy-like thing with a short pixie cut and big eyes, a smug look before she gently closed the door.

The office was modernly decorated, with a large red couch and arm chair and a low, pine coffee table. There was no desk, but along the back wall was a huge storage cabinet or console. The bottom half was studded all over with large drawers while the top held books, their titles made unreadable by the frosted glass of the cabinets separating them from the room. It was a bright, cheerful room, not dark and scary like the others Kim had been in. Plopping down on the couch, she even noticed a jar of sweets. With the self-assurance of a spoiled young adult, she stuck her hand into the jar and grabbed a handful and began mindlessly popping them into her mouth, one after the other.

Dr. Barber settled into her chair and reached for Kim’s file on the coffee table, smiling. “Well. It’s nice to meet you, Kimberly. I’m surprised your mother didn’t drop you off.”

Forming her words around a mouthful of sweets, Kim said, “My roommate gave me a ride,” and proceeded to make herself even more at home, curling up on the couch and even pressing her feet under one of the throw pillows.

“Ah.” Dr. Barber was still smiling as she flipped open the file, but it was a smile layered over some other emotion. Kim assumed it was irritation and dismissed it. “I see you’ve been to a few therapists.”


“Didn’t like any of them?”


“That’s too bad.” Dr. Barber shuffled through the pages slowly. “And why have you come to see me today?”

Kim sighed. “My parents are making me, if I don’t want to be cut off. They think I’m immature or antisocial or something, but I’m fine. I have, like, a ton of friends.”

“Doing okay in school?”

“I get Cs. Some Bs.”

“Boyfriend?” Dr. Barber’s voice and the way that she very carefully didn’t look up from the file suggested that she already knew the answer.

Kim bit her lip and paused in her candy consumption. “No. I’ve never really had one.”

Dr. Barber smiled and slid the file back onto the coffee table. “Plenty of time for that. You’re still very, very young.”

Kim didn’t answer.

“Do you like being very, very young, Kimmy?”

That one caught the girl off guard. “What?”

“Kimberly, your parents specifically sent you to me because I deal with a certain kind of person.” Dr. Barber leaned to one side in her chair, pensively resting her chin on her knuckles like Rodin’s Thinker. “Do you know what an infantilist is?”


“It’s the type of client I see and your parents think your behavior may be a way of acting out because you don’t understand what you are. I’m going to help you by assessing you and seeing if they’re right.”

Kim shifted, putting her feet back down on the floor, meeting Dr. Barber’s gaze full on for the first time. “And if they are?”

“That all depends. I have to get to know you first. Usually I help you find ways to act out your tendencies—your fantasies—positively. Are you willing to let me assess you?”


Miss Barber’s smile refreshed itself. “I’m very glad to hear that.” Kim smiled back. “Now, first I’m going to ask you the basic questions.”

Miss Barber took up Kim’s file again and began to ask her a long series of questions about almost everything: her relationships with friends, how she felt about her parents, what she enjoyed in school, what sort of music she listened to, how and how often she masturbated, what she wanted to do over the summer, her medical history, and more. They were fairly basic questions, except for a few about diapers and whether she thought about them and if she ever wore them.

And Kim had to admit that, yes, she did think about diapers, even if she had never worn them.

“Why not?”

Kim was reclined on the couch again, but this time her feet were respectfully on the ottoman Dr. Barber had fetched for her.

“I just…why would I? I don’t need them.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Kim giggled nervously. “I think I’d notice if I did. I think everyone would notice.”

“Maybe,” said Dr. Barber, her voice taking on a deeper, more sensual tone, “You really do. Only no one’s noticed because they didn’t know what they were looking for, but I do.” Dr. Barber set down her pen and the file. “You seem like just a normal girl, except that you’re a little bratty and a little self-centered. Lots of girls your age still watch cartoons and want to be spoiled. There’s a whole sub culture of young women who act like infantilists and don’t even know it. But that’s the style now. Out of every hundred girls who likes to wear babyish clothes and is obsessed with Hello Kitty, there’s maybe only one, or perhaps two, who wants to do those things not just because it’s en vogue, but because she’s an adult baby. She wants to be made to wear diapers and talk like a baby and act like a baby. She fantasizes about having her room turned into a nursery and never having to deal with all the adult responsibilities, like paying bills, dating, finding a job. She just wants to be a baby girl, no matter how old or how big she gets.”

As Kim listened, she found herself growing wet and aroused, thought her mind was desperately protesting. “But I is a big girl!” Kim clapped a hand to her mouth. It had come out in baby talk. The childish whine, the soft R, the incorrect grammar. There was no way to deny it.

Dr. Barber smiled her knowing, almost smug smile yet again. “Of course you are, Kimmy. And I have something in the drawer right behind me. Something just for Kimmy that I think you’re going to like.”

Dr. Barber stood and went to the cabinet as Kim watched, horror, fascination, and joy fighting for prevalence in her mind. As Dr. Barber bent down and opened the drawer, Kim found herself sucking her thumb and pulling the throw pillow to her, cuddling it like a teddy bear. When the therapist stood up, Kim saw that she was holding a thick disposable diaper, baby powder, and a pink baby bottle.

“No!” Kim cried, shrinking back into the couch.

“Yes, baby. It’s the only way to work through all of this.” Dr. Barber set the things down on the coffee table and gently, but firmly, took the pillow away from Kim. The girl stretched her arms out after it as it was taken away, whimpering.

“My, but I’ve never seen a girl who needed so little coaxing to regress!” Miss Barber ran her fingers through Kim’s hair and they looked into one another’s eyes for a moment. “Would baby like a teddy rather than just a pillow?”


Dr. Barber turned back to the drawer and, as she did, a part of Kim’s mind rallied against the increasing oddness of the situation. Just get up and leave. You can go wait in the coffee shop around the corner. Once you tell Mom and Dad, they’ll never ask you to come back here again. Just walk out the door before she even turns around again! But Kim stayed.

Dr. Barber turned back, holding a light brown bear with a red kerchief around his neck. He wasn’t new by any means. His fur was matted and rubbed off in many places and his button eyes had lost all of their shine. One of his ears was even half gone. He was nothing if not shabby—and instantly recognizable.

“Blue-boo!” gasped Kim. “Where–”

“Your mother brought him over. I thought it might help.” Kim grew a little frightened as she realized that her parents might know more about this than she had assumed. It showed in her eyes. “Yes, your mommy and daddy have a very good idea of what’s going on here. They don’t know everything, but they know enough that if they did know everything it wouldn’t phase them. Now take your teddy–” Kim took the bear into her arms and cuddled up against it. “–And lie down like a good little girl.”

Kim obeyed, perhaps a little slowly, but only because she was transfixed by Dr. Barber’s lovely, low voice. The therapist’s dark eyes seemed to be drinking in the pale green ones, hypnotizing the young girl into puerile submission. She began to undress her, drawing off her shoes and unbuttoning her jeans.

“No,” said Kim, still speaking in her charmingly infantilized voice. She gently tried to push Dr. Barber’s hand away from her fly, but there was no conviction in her protest, no power in her movement, and the good doctor simply ignored her. Kim even lifted her hips to better allow her to remove her pants and panties.

Before Kim could put her bum down again, Dr. Barber opened the diaper and slid it underneath her.  Then she twisted open the baby powder and sprinkled the wonderful stuff all over Kim’s open lap. Kim shivered and even moaned a little as Dr. Barber’s fingers spread the cool, sweet powder over her clitoris and between her labia.

“Does that feel good, baby?”

“Yeah.” Kim arched her back and put her thumb in her mouth. Dr. Barber kept rubbing, massaging Kim, who was blatantly enjoying the attention, pushing her mons against the therapist’s hand.

Dr. Barber chuckled. “That’s hardly appropriate behavior for a baby girl. And yet so many adult baby girls seem to enjoy being played with at changing time.”

Kim cuddled her teddy in the crook of her arm, flinging her other arm over her head and spreading her legs wider. “Rubby…” She knew what was happening was probably not, in the strictest sense, right. But Dr. Barber was a therapist. If she said it was okay for Kim to cum in her diapers, then it was okay. Wasn’t it? She opened her eyes and looked at the older woman, looming over her.

leather secretaryDr. Barber was rather attractive. Her dark hair was swept up into a practical bun, little tendrils of hair tucked behind her ears. Her breasts were large and strained against the buttons of her white, collared shirt. She also wore a black pencil skirt, stockings, and heels. Pearls were fixed to her lobes and hung from her neck. Black, plastic eyeglasses framed her almond-shaped eyes. She was now unbuttoning the top few buttons on her blouse, allowing her cleavage to tumble into view, growing deeper and more enticing as each strained button popped open. Her other hand dutifully remained between Kim’s legs, manipulating her clitoris and teasing her lips.

“Does Kimmy want titty?”

Kim felt herself flush. “Want.”

“Want, what?”

Kim could only knit her brows and stare up at Dr. Barber’s now revealed lace bra.

“Yes, Mommy,” the therapist prompted.

Kim almost came, but managed to pull herself back. “Yes, Mommy!”

“Good girl.” Dr. Barber drew her hand away, leaving Kim’s slender hips still searching for it, and began to tape up the diaper.

“Mommy!” shrieked Kim. “Rubby, Mommy!”

Dr. Barber chuckled. “Not right now, baby. First titty. Then little Kimmy can have what she wants.”

Kim almost threw Blue-boo, but before she could, Dr. Barber was on the couch next to her, drawing her up and removing Kim’s bra from under her top, positioning her under her full breasts, and removing her own bra.

Dr. Barber’s breasts were heavy and fell against Kim’s face with a soft thud. Without thinking, Kim opened her mouth and began searching for the older woman’s honey brown nipple. As if the whole situation weren’t odd enough, Kim was further surprised to find that Dr. Barber’s breasts were indeed full of milk! As Kim’s mouth closed over it, squeezing the nipple ever so slightly, thin, sweet milk shot into her mouth. She was surprised, but swallowed reflexively, giving a little squeal of shock and delight.

Dr. Barber moaned and smoothed Kim’s hair. As Kim felt her own sex tingle with the excitement of what she was doing, she felt the therapist shift under her and knew that she must be feeling the same thing. Determined to be a good girl, Kim began suckling in earnest, pulling and pushing against Dr. Barber’s breast, milking her with her mouth.

As she lay in her new Mommy’s lap, Kim felt strangely secure and sheltered, but also responsible. It was her job to be a good adult baby girl and nurse from her new Mommy. It was a simple job, one that she could easily handle, but, from the way Dr. Barber’s hips were rocking, clearly very important as well. If she didn’t drink all of Mommy’s milk, who would? Mommy’s breasts would swell and burst and all that lovely, pure milk would be wasted!

“Good girl!” the therapist cooed. She cradled Kim with one arm and allowed her other hand to snake its way down the girl’s chest to the diaper. Again she began rubbing through the thick diaper, searching out the girl’s padded clitoris. Kim hugged her bear tight, pleasure spreading through her diapered parts.

“Does little Kimmy know what feels really good?” Dr. Barber asked.

Kim shook her head, still holding the nipple in her mouth, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as if to concentrate the pleasure.

“It feels very good to wet your little diaper. Just let all that pee pee come out and make your diaper extra slippery for rubby with Mommy. Would my Kimmy like that?”

Dr. Barber pushed down so hard on Kim’s clit that the girl shot up and un-latched. Kim gave a little cry of pain and writhed, trying to escape the suddenly firm hand.

“Does Kimmy want to wet her diapy to make cummies for Mommy?”

It was too much. Tears began to flow down Kim’s face, leaking from her tightly shut eyelids. The pleasure of lying in this woman’s lap, diapered and nursing, had been so intense that the sudden thought of being so humiliated was too much for the remaining adult training embedded in Kim’s mind, but she still couldn’t stop herself from answering, “Yeah-huh.”

To be continued…